golfing jokes

Scratch Golfer __Two women were put together as partners in the club tournament and met on the putting green for the first time. After introductions, the first golfer asked, "What’s your handicap?" __"Oh, I’m a scratch golfer," the other replied. __"Really!" exclaimed the first woman, suitably impressed that she was paired up with her. __"Yes, I write down all my good scores and scratch out the bad ones!"

Friends __George and Jose head out for a quick round of golf. Since they are short on time, they decide to play only 9 holes. George says to Jose, "Let's say we make the time worth the while, at least for one of us, and spot $5 on the lowest score for the day." __Jose agrees and they enjoy a great game. After the 7th hole, Jose is ahead by 1 stroke, but cuts his ball into the rough on the 8th. "Help me find my ball; you look over there," he says to George. After 5 minutes, neither has had any luck, and since a lost ball carries a two-stroke penalty, Jose pulls a ball from his pocket and tosses it to the ground. "I've found my ball!" he announces triumphantly. __George looks at him forlornly, "After all the years we've been friends, you'd cheat me on golf for a measly five bucks?" __"What do you mean cheat? I found my ball sitting right here!" __"And a liar, too!" George says with amazement. __"I'll have you know I've been standing on your ball for the last five minutes!"